tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47325806791027809502024-03-24T15:10:39.217+08:00Pemuzik Jalananpemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.comBlogger312125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-82703945509195791332023-05-26T10:58:00.006+08:002023-05-26T11:02:24.544+08:00Tika dan Saat Ini (2023)<p style="text-align: justify;">26 May 2023 - while listening to Medicine; Tika dan Saat Ini</p><p style="text-align: justify;">1. This is very random, after 3 years I am back here. At the safest place where I won't be judged (I hope so) hehe. Currently working from home. S is at work while A (A is my baby though he is already 2 now) is at play school. And aa yes, I a mom of one now. Could you have ever imagined, me - being a mom? I couldn't ever.. but I am now.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">2. How time flies.. I used to be here since I was 18; writing on my puppy love story, how life has hits me, going ups and downs through rollercoaster of life and here I am, a 31 years grown ass woman?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">3. Life is okay. After 2020 - that stay at home stuffs and all, everything seems fine. S, has been a very good partner to me, a great father to A. We do quarrel a bit, and sometimes I am still the person I am at 20s - the less mature self but I am glad he's wise enough to be able to control me hahaha. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">4. He's the one and hopefully will always be ❤️ hihihi</p><p style="text-align: justify;">5. Tokwan left us last year and Taiping, our hometown has never been the same. I missed him so much tho.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">6. Sedih juga sebenarnya bila kita sedar yang ada manusia begitu terikat dan memaknai wang ringgit lebih daripada keluarga. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">7. I wished to write at least 10 points to share but it seems like I have loss my words here.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">8. I am no that good at writing actually, I am better at singing but only to myself and my loved ones hihi</p><p style="text-align: justify;">9. Oh, one of my best friend has delivered a very healthy and cute baby (girl) after 5 years of TTC. Rezeki Tuhan datang dalam macam - macam cara dan bentuk; Ada ketikanya, Tuhan tak beri ada kita mahu, tapi bagi apa yang kita perlu.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">10. Moga Allah swt makbulkan, izinkan segala doa dan kemahuan rakan - rakan juga rezekikan rezeki terbaik, pada waktu terbaik untuk semua.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Listening to this type of song really helps to write well eh? Hehe</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p><br /></p>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-24015830458971971282020-07-17T13:39:00.000+08:002020-07-17T13:41:03.843+08:00Satu Tahun - Dua Belas Minggu.<i><b>27 Jun 2019, hidup-mati.</b></i><br />
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Hari hidup - mati saya setahun yang lalu. Hari saya seolah - olah diberi nafas baru.<br />
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Pembedahan saya berjaya. Tiada sel kanser. Saya tidak perlu dibedah seperti ikan. Uterus saya telah diselamatkan.<br />
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Dalam fikiran dan anggapan saya, sama ada kemudian nanti, jika ada komplikasi ataupun kesan dari pembedahan ini, yang nyatanya, saya telah pun bersedia dengan segala kemungkinan yang datang.<br />
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<i><b>8 November 2019, isteri.</b></i><br />
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Syukur. Sehingga hari ini, cuma ucap syukur yang saya dapat panjatkan pada Tuhan kerana beri saya peluang, untuk bersama dengan lelaki yang terlalu amat saya sayang sejak zaman hingusan dahulu.<br />
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Setelah bertahun - tahun berkenalan, mengikat rasa, hadap terlalu banyak naik turun kehidupan, kami dijodohkan untuk bersama, akhirnya.<br />
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Semoga hubungan ini kekal sehingga akhir usia.<br />
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<i><b>16 Julai 2020, ibu.</b></i><br />
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Genap tiga bulan rahim saya terisi dengan jasad kecil. Untuk kesekian kalinya, Tuhan terlalu baik, Maha baik. Setahun yang lalu, saya cuma mampu berharap dan berdoa.<br />
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Hari ini, mimpi, impian saya jadi nyata.<br />
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Terima kasih, Tuhan.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Semoga awak baik baik selalu, anak ibu.</i></span>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-42698577532710133632020-05-01T22:08:00.001+08:002020-05-01T22:09:11.082+08:002020 dan segala tentangnya - versi May 2020 Virus,<br />
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Perintah berkurung<br />
<i>WFH</i><br />
<br />
<i> Dalgona coffee</i><br />
<br />
<i> Sanitizer </i> <br />
Moratarium<br />
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<br />
<i>Mask </i> <br />
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Puasa tanpa bazar <br />
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<i> Glove</i><br />
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BPN<br />
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Selamat Berpuasa.pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-6456258620906420342020-02-28T13:22:00.001+08:002020-02-28T13:22:37.699+08:00Selamat Pulang ke Negeri Abadi, ma.Sehari selepas saya dihantui mimpi ngeri dan fikiran negatif, saya kembali ke Kelantan untuk melawat mama. Rupanya keadaan mama telah pun begitu tenat. Saya dan S, sempat bertemu dan ada bersama mama sebelum nafas terakhirnya.<br />
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Tuhan rezekikan saya 3 bulan bersama mama. Terasa begitu sekejap masa berlalu. Belum sempat saya berkenalan lebih mesra dengan mama. Tapi tak sekali pun saya rasa menyesal dengan pemergian mama. Walaupun tak begitu banyak masa kami bersama, saya diberi kesempatan untuk menjaga mama. Setiap kenangan kecil kami bersama, takkan saya lupa.<br />
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Terima kasih ma, untuk semuanya.<br />
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Selamat pulang ke Negeri Abadi.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Al-fatihah.</span><br />
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pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-64073339747805169612020-02-21T16:31:00.001+08:002020-02-21T16:31:01.972+08:00Death is inevitable.1. I think I had panic attack last night. My thoughts has consumed me. It drags me into a black hole. I suddenly feel so gloomy, too much death news, too much loss.<br />
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2. Cried on S, telling him I don't want to lose anyone. I sleep with tears, did not remember when and how did I fell asleep but S has been keeping me calm all night.<br />
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3. I have been going to and fro to hospital, mama is not in her best condition. Her liver has malfunction, they found cancer cell which might me lymphoma. It's depressing to look at her now.<br />
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4. It seems like we were surrounded by death. It has been approaching us from every corner, but mama's strong will to live had defeated the rest.<br />
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5. Stay strong, ma.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Semoga Tuhan berikan segala yang terbaik untuk mama.</span><br />
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<br />pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-65045491477268444332020-02-03T11:57:00.001+08:002020-02-03T11:57:17.137+08:00#Misi321. Hampir setahun saya tinggalkan ruangan rahsia, terlalu sibuk dengan persiapan untuk hidup berdua.<br />
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2. Pada 8/11/2019 ketika umur S menjengah 32, segala impian saya sejak 7 tahun lalu dimakbulkan Tuhan<br />
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3. Sejak hari itu, saya percaya, saya termasuk dalam kalangan mereka yang bahagia.<br />
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4. Terlalu banyak emosi yang mengalir saat saya dengar lafaz nikah diakhiri dengan kata 'sah' dari para saksi.<br />
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5. Segala kejatuhan kecil, bebanan perasaan; takut (adakah ini pilihan terbaik dan betul), sedih, insecurity (segala hal lalu), kemaafan dan dendam lama pada manusia manusia yang pernah berlaku kejam (saya rasa) pada saya, semuanya saya lepaskan dan tinggalkan pada ketika itu.<br />
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6. Ada ketikanya, saya masih belum cukup percaya yang kami telah pun hampir 3 bulan bersama. Kadang kala ianya rasa seperti mimpi.<br />
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7. Ada waktu, saya terjaga dari tidur malam, melihat S disebelah yang sedang lena tidur, buat saya rasa terharu. Betul, ini bukan mimpi.<br />
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8. Semoga Tuhan pinjamkan segala rasa bahagia ini sedikit lama. Kalau pun segalanya perlu saya pulangkan bila tiba saatnya nanti, saya (kami) harap takkan rasa sedikit pun ralat. Kerana segala perit jerih, susah senang, segalanya kami lalui (bersama).<br />
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9. Tiada yang abadi.<br />
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Terlalu berat untuk terima kenyataan "tiada yang abadi". Sampai satu masa kita tetap akan terpisah; jauh mana rasa sayang, berat mana kesedihan yang akan datang.<br />
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10. Yang kekal cuma Tuhan.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sampai kita tua, sampai jadi debu.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I wev yu <3</span>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-54306715068152901852019-05-03T21:45:00.001+08:002019-05-03T21:45:03.723+08:00Salam 27 - 6 months (countdown)Selamat 27 tahun kepada diri sendiri.<div>
Selamat bersedia menempuh alam rumah tangga lebih kurang 6 bulan dari sekarang.</div>
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Cheers!</div>
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Mohon Tuhan permudahkan segala jalan kami.</div>
pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-40861712490233009042018-12-28T16:56:00.002+08:002018-12-28T16:56:53.960+08:00Selamat jalan 20181. Baru terima surat dan perkhabaran yang syarikat kami akan revamp project yang kami jalankan dan kami diberi notis sebulan untuk diberhentikan<br />
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2. Ada ura-ura yang mengatakan, manager kami akan usahakan untuk dapatkan projek baru untuk kami dan notis berhenti kerja dibatalkan<br />
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3. Sedang sibuk merancang perkahwinan yang kurang lebih setahun dari sekarang<br />
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4. Kurang tidur, kurang rehat, diduga dengan demam yang berlanjutan selama seminggu<br />
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5. Semakin meningkat usia, semakin tak boleh bertolak ansur dengan kebodohan manusia. Macam mana manusia boleh kurang rasa empati dan common sense?<br />
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6. S kata, saya dalam fasa rebel. Penuh rasa angst dalam diri. Mungkin faktor umur<br />
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7. Jumpa hobi baru; yoga. Untuk tambahkan zen dalam kehidupan<br />
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8. Jumpa dan dapat beberapa kawan baru di ofis. Tapi ada yang saya had kan pergaulan dan jauhkan diri kerana (rujuk point nombor 5)<br />
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9. For now I'm happy but most of the time, I'm moody<br />
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10. I stop searching for happiness in life instead, I value the lesson thought by it<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">It's not the destination that matter it's the journey.</span>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-24618819860806445792018-11-12T21:10:00.002+08:002018-11-12T21:11:36.757+08:0028.10.2018Sedar tak sedar, dah nak masuk dua bulan saya bekerja. Alhamdulillah, tempat baru, suasana baru, kawan kawan baru. Harapnya dapatlah bertahan untuk setahun ni sebelum berfikir untuk cari kerja baru. Waktu kerja tak menentu, shift 24/7, sementara masih bujang ni okay lagi, tapi dalam perancangannya setahun dari sekarang pula lanjutan majlis yang baru berlansung dua minggu lepas.<br />
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Ada masa macam tak percaya. Lepas 6 tahun bersama, momen jatuh-bangun teruk dulu, kami masih dijodhkan bersama. Betul kata orang, jauh mana kita lari, datanglah seribu dugaan, kalau dia orangnya, kita akan sama-sama usaha untuk baiki hubungan dan jadi lebih baik untuk masing masing.<br />
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Jadinya, setahun dari sekarang, mungkin akan tukar status lagi. Kalau diizinkan Tuhan. Moga-moga. Doakan ya.pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-81985791943308704402018-10-18T06:05:00.001+08:002018-10-18T06:05:14.124+08:001. Buat masa ni, tempat kerja baru agak menyenangkan.<br />
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2. Seorang peminat tegar yoga tanpa disengajakan<br />
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3. Sedang menghitung hari, masih<br />
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4. I don't know what to expect<br />
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5. Super nervous<br />
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6. Still nervous<br />
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7. Dan takut<br />
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8. Okaybyepemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-71983724586871265132018-10-01T17:02:00.001+08:002018-10-01T17:02:26.201+08:00Dear October, Please be Nice.Dalam masa seminggu, akan mulakan kerja baru.<br />
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Dalam masa sebulan, akan berubah ke status baru.</div>
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Dalam masa setahun, akan ada tanggujawab lebih besar yang akan ditanggung.</div>
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For this time being, yes October, please be nice.</div>
pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-30117371152498225802018-09-17T21:33:00.002+08:002018-09-17T21:33:43.668+08:00Starting OverI'll be starting my new job next month. Not in education line, far away from psychology of course. I hope I can stay and bear for a year. Stay strong dear self, we can do this!<br />
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Doakan saya :)pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-6944900062833687292018-09-05T17:44:00.001+08:002018-09-05T17:44:30.611+08:00Ini Semua Dugaan-NyaMula-mula laptop. Lepastu fon pula rosak. Dan sekarang, motor. Huhu...<div>
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Taknak mengeluh. Tuhan tahu apa yang terbaik buat kami. Selagi boleh usaha, kami akan usahakan. </div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">p/s: esok ada interview. Moga ada rezeki kalini</span></div>
pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-54619996654274879912018-09-02T21:04:00.004+08:002018-09-05T17:40:19.686+08:001. Had a deep conversation with S about our future<br />
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2. It's funny and we're blessed at the same time for whatever things that have happened to us<br />
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3. He mentioned about his ideal world and we both know the we're the opposite of each other<br />
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4. I never had one. Not even ambitious in life. I have no goals. I just want to live my life to the fullest and be happy with whatever things I had.<br />
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5. If I had one, my ideal world would be, having a good life surrounded by my loved ones.<br />
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6. It feels great to have a heart-to-heart talk with S<br />
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7. <i>Ada satu ruang feminin di dalam S yang buat saya jatuh sayang berkali-kali, tak pernah serik untuk jatuh lagi</i><br />
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8. <i>Saya masih menganggur </i></div>
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9. Currently waiting for miracle to happen</div>
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10. Planning to do something crazy such as applying back to TKM just because I've been missing my kids a lot these days</div>
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pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-33544042498108767642018-08-28T14:22:00.001+08:002018-08-28T14:22:28.318+08:00Sedang dilanda sakit rindu pada ibu ayah.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">p/s: don't ever call me anak manja. I hate it.</span>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-73762740294330459722018-08-13T17:59:00.002+08:002018-08-13T17:59:26.449+08:00It's August; FML.1. Another two more days, mommy and daddy will be going for Hajj. I'll be home alone for 43 days.<br />
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2. I'm super stressful now, thinking bout my career future.<br />
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3. I'm still jobless and it has been nearly two months.<br />
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4. I'm restricting myself from joining into the education field again.<br />
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5. Me and S has entered the so called <i>darah manis </i>phase kot. I'm very much impatience now compared to how I was before. How to kumpul duit when I don't even have any source of money?!<br />
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6. I think I'm the crazy bitch here<br />
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7. I feel the urge of running away from everyone but FML! I don't have enough money to lari.<br />
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8. I need to write my feelings down or else I'll become worst<br />
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9. Should start 43 days Journal without mommy and daddy<br />
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10. Yes, if I ingat..pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-58406844552569536162018-07-30T18:37:00.004+08:002018-07-30T18:52:13.966+08:00Of loss, grief and a hint of happiness.1. I've lost my job. Due to mulut jahat orang. But no worries, I'm good.<br />
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2. I've lost Maklong on the second day of Syawal. This was unexpected. She called me that day. I missed her call. I didn't get to talk to her forever now. I miss her.<br />
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3. Been jobless for nearly a month. Ibu wants me to stay at home longer so that I can be with her. I have no problem with that. It's just that, ada masa I don't feel good lah. I'm the one who should hulur duit to her but she still have to take care of me now?<br />
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4. S and his family came to pay a visit yesterday. A visit just to kenal-kenal. After nearly 5 yo 6 years of knowing each other. This is the first time I met his family. I was nervous at first but felt better right after.<br />
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5. It's funny that we started to talk about future now. I've been wanting and waiting for this to happen long ago. And finally, it's going to happen, soon.<br />
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6. I was still in denial when S started to talk about our short-term planning. I was a bit blur. I even asked him few times just to make sure I was not dreaming. I fell asleep the same day, when I woke up I quickly checked my phone and read the conversation repeatedly. No. This is not a dream.<br />
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7. I've lost one thing but He gave me another.<br />
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8. Semoga Tuhan pijamkan saya rasa bahagia ni sedikit lama lagi.<br />
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9. Saya takut nak berlebih-lebihan berbahagia dengan hal yang belum tentu jadi. Belum ada pemula tapi mungkin jumpa penamat dulu. Who knows? But lets just hope for the best.<br />
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10. Ibu ayah will be going for Hajj soon. Tolong doakan semoga segala urusan mereka dipermudahkan dan pergi-balik mereka dilindungi selalu.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">We fell sick on the next day. Dua dua demam terkejut ke apa tak tahulah hehe</span><br />
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<br />pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-77170961602736786652018-05-13T22:28:00.000+08:002018-05-13T22:28:10.391+08:009 May 2018.It's our GE day, remember?<div>
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Oh my, I was so excited and anxious! This is my first time making such a decision for my country. I studied on how to cast a vote so many time just to make sure I won't be making any mess on the day itself. I woke up a bit late, I had to queue up for nearly 2 hours it the scorching hot sun. I literally burnt myself out.</div>
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After two days of holidays, and yes, before that, WE'VE WON!! Hehe, I am genuinely happy. PH has taken over and Tun is our new PM. I am touched! Now, we got Malaysia baru. I hope to see the new me too.</div>
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Selamat Malaysia! We love you.</div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Do you not feel patriotic? Because, hell yeah, I do!</span></div>
pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-8596024667593047272018-05-06T19:26:00.001+08:002018-05-06T19:26:06.943+08:00Of Kerabu Mangga and Laptop2nd May 2018.<br />
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S has gotten a new job, Alhamdulillah! Well, it's not an easy phase for him now. We had few things to juggle in between. Our publishing and printing house is in hiatus for now. Our rumah PJ is still running. He had just sell his laptop so, we have to search for a new one. On our way there, I was damn hungry and I was having my PMS so, I teringin nak makan Kerabu Mangga.<br />
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We sat at the first stall and started to order the dishes. Not until the waitress mentioned that, "Kerabu Mangga takda." We said sorry and left. S patiently strolled the stall one by one to ask for it and we made it at the 6th stall. That's when I know, we fell in love for the simplest things in life as for me; Kerabu Mangga?<br />
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We managed to find a good laptop for S and he's as usual, busy with works. I hope things are going to get better for us.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Good luck, boo!</span>pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-28833507755329138202018-04-29T10:57:00.002+08:002018-04-29T10:57:21.263+08:00April rants<div style="text-align: justify;">
1. Mom and dad were away for 12 days to tour Europe. I'm home alone babysitting my kid. It was fun la to be able to juggle between masak, mandikan anak, kemas rumah, jaga diri sendiri, blablabla... Nope! It turns out that, it was tired as hell! Hahaha. Not yet ready to be a mom nor wife. Let me have fun with myself first lah. </div>
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2. April was hella fun month! I went to Perhentian with family. Weh, snorkeling was great! I mean, whyeh the experience I had in back in Krabi was just.. mehhhh.. The people were nice. The beaches was awesome! Most of time. I was in awe. Love love! </div>
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3 Right after that was my Sabah trip. I managed to go back to Kg. Pahu and reunited with mommy and daddy again. Oh my, how I missed being there, back in Sabah. Not KK la. My kampung and all. We even drove till the tip of Borneo. This one, Ya Allah, we even did stargazing! I don't know how to describe it but MasyaAllah, I felt like I hilang fo awhile. Cantik sangat. If you've got the chance to exolore Sabah, please do. You won't regret! Promise. From KK-Tenompok-Kg Pahu-Kundasang-Tuaran-Tamparuli-Kota Belud-Simpang Mangayau and back to KK. Sewa kereta and get going okay?</div>
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4. It's not easy handling breakups y'know. And up until now, saya masih lagi tak faham dengan orang yang baru breakup tapi dah dapat cari pengganti. Like, your past relationship meant nothing for you. Okaylah, can't generalize everything but still.. For me, love is something sacred. It takes time for you to build in a new relationship, to learn to love again. And entahlah, we will fight for the love we think we deserve kan?</div>
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5. Depression is real. To all, it's really not okay for you to have these negative and suicidal thoughts. And yet, telling people to sembahyang as if they didn't know it. In handling a fragile people, you don't have to state the obvious. They knew it. Reach them. Love them. Let them know you are there by being there for them. If you're that lucky, you haven't yet experience the shities phase in your life, be grateful. Stay strong beautiful souls! No rush, when the time comes, you will eventually be alright.</div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Looking forward for 1 May. I need extra rest.</span></div>
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pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-29984472576931518502018-04-10T22:37:00.000+08:002018-04-10T22:37:17.345+08:00Random shitsDid I tell you that I've started a new job in a new place and new environment? Did I tell you that my principal at school is entah macam mana nak cakap lah.<br />
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Today she shouted at me and throw her phone on the table. Just because she felt that I didn't respect her authority. I just said that I'm going to refer my problem to the upper management, then she suddenly mengamuk and said "I MADE THE DECISION HERE".<br />
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I feel like laughing my ass off. WHAT THE HELL WOMAN? Chill lah. As I keep calm, she's getting more furious. I know she got power but okay lah. I nak refer to a better person then kenapa you marah sangat ni?<br />
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Duh.<br />
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I feel good right after. Keluar bilik dia, I smiled and sambung buat kerja.<br />
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Knowing me, I would burst into tears right after being scolded for such reason. But now, I am so proud of myself. Did I just answered her back calmly? She and her emotional response.<br />
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Hey, am I not a big girl now?<br />
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Hehe. Aih, this is life kan. It won't get any better, but you're getting stronger :)pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-58758391981079848842018-04-10T21:40:00.000+08:002018-04-10T21:40:05.508+08:0012.51 pm, in a kindy, KLCC.I'm 26 this year. How do I celebrate my birthday? With a bundle of tears. I left TKM and found a new job. I miss what I missed. I miss my kids, my colleagues but surely not my boss. I quit my boss but not my job.<br />
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I have the thought of quitting my current job now because I hate everything here. Not really tho. I created the problems in my mind and trying so hard to find a reason to leave. I keep on reminding myself that I'm not happy. Which I'm not pun. I was doing just fine. I taknak move on je. I feel bad kalau I lupa my kids. I feel bad if I tak sayang them as much as I did.<br />
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That's just me. The avid overthinker!<br />
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5 March 2018.pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-89124489346495704202018-01-25T21:02:00.001+08:002018-01-25T21:02:50.825+08:002018As cliche as it may sound,<div>
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2018, please be nice?</div>
pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-61748712497754077412017-12-12T20:35:00.004+08:002017-12-12T20:35:58.616+08:00"Berbahagialah mereka yang mati muda.."Benar kata Soe Hok Gie. Betapa bahagianya mereka yang mati muda. Tak perlu berperit-jerih memikirkan tentang tanggungjawab dan hidup. Lebih bahagia yang mati seawal di rahim ibu, atau lebih baik tidak dilahirkan langsung.<br />
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It's just sad. Kematian adalah pengakhiran yang paling saya tunggu-tunggu. Lama sudah saya tinggalkan rasa sesak dengan sakit yang menghimpit. Kematian berkali-kali mengajak saya pergi bersamanya.<br />
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Saya bencikan perpisahan.<br />
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Setiap hari, kalau saya hidup, saya akan lebih 'attach' dengan dunia dan segala isinya. Isn't it better if I choose to die. Less attachment. Less suffering. Less agony.<br />
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Though I know, I should detached myself from the worldly matter and keep on holding to Allah, alone. There are times, things are easier said than done. It's not that easy to walk the talk, kan?<br />
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Rupa-rupanya, masih ada sisa rasa pahit hidup di dalam saya.<br />
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Now, eventhough I have someone to love, someone who would love me, as much as I did, it's still not enough.<br />
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Boo keeps on reminding me each and everyday, <b>"sini bukan syurga"</b>. It's not that I don't know that. It's just that, I feel demotivated. On life. On everything.<br />
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I'm just being selfish. Betapa tak bersyukurnya kita, sebagai manusia, kan?<br />
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<br />pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4732580679102780950.post-71788159008247628062017-11-25T23:57:00.002+08:002017-11-25T23:57:28.697+08:00Day 4 of 28Experienced mild dizziness. I guess that's all for today.pemuzik jalananhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13826409849064437010noreply@blogger.com0